We all have those really deep and dark memories. The memories that we try and shove as far away as possible. Although the brutal memories aren’t fun to think about, they are important when it comes to looking at the full picture.
We all have that certain memory when someone said something hurtful. Even if we didn’t plan on giving their opinions about us any thought, we unfortunately remembered what they said and when they said it because their words affected us. Their words could have targeted an insecurity or they could have been hurtful and mean. But despite who the person was and what was said, that little statement floats around in our mind reminding us about how worthless we feel.
We also have those memories that don’t have to do with words but rather with actions. Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you, your parents got a divorce, someone close to you died, someone treated you badly, you were told the worse news of your life, and so on. These memories aren’t just memories. They are brutal. And they hurt.
So what do we do with these painful experiences? Why are we holding on to them so tightly? I can’t speak for everyone, but I can tell you what I do. I tell the people I trust. I tell my best friend when someone’s words are getting to me. And do you know what she does? She feeds me encouraging words that replace the hurtful ones. Maybe you don’t have anyone to tell you those encouraging words. Well here are a few:
“You are beautiful. Your heart may be battered and bruised, it may have been mistaken and used, but your heart is beautiful. You may look worn down and tired, you may feel like your outward insecurities are too much and too big that you can’t even look into a mirror anymore. But you are absolutely beautiful. What you see as an insecurity, I see as a strength and a power. You were made on purpose for a purpose and your beauty from within shines brighter than any outward insecurity you might have. You are loved and valued. God loves you. I love you. There is someone on earth thinking about you right now and they love you with every fiber of their being even if you don’t know it yet.”
I also tell my mom. I tell her about my painful experiences because she’s experienced most of them with me. (Last weeks “My Testimony,” for example.) But even though she was there, I tell her about my emotions surrounding the memory. Being able to say how these painful events are affecting you is so powerful. In fact, it’s freeing. You learn that you don’t have to be strong for everyone. And that feels like a huge weight being lifted from your shoulders. We don’t have to be everyone’s hero. We need to focus on ourselves enough to get us in a place of trusting others and being vulnerable with them. After that, we can be the vessel that helps other’s while letting God do the saving.
So what are you going to choose today? Are you going to breathe out the brutality of your memories and give them to God and the people you trust? Or are you going to continue living with that weight on your chest? For the sake of you and the people around you, I hope you choose to share the burden. That way you can begin to experience freedom from the heaviness of the brutal memories.
EMILY DICKINSON 