I’m standing on a boat watching the sea swirl and churn as the waves dive out of the way of the oncoming vessel. I’m three years old wearing just a diaper. My dad vomits beside me.
How could I remember something that happened when I was three? How do I remember details such as the boat was big and red, and mommy was wearing big black sunglasses? The truth is, I don’t remember this event. I saw a picture of this event and my mom told me the story when I was seven or eight and again when I was about twelve. Using this information, my hippocampus stored this story, and later when I replay it in my mind, I see it as a memory. Even over time the story changed from my mom throwing up to my dad throwing up.
It’s hard to discern whether some of our memories are real or fake. I remember when I was five and in my last year of preschool, I got locked in the car. My mom got out to get my brother and she accidentally locked the keys inside. I was strapped into my carseat and my mom had to explain how to get my seatbelt off and unlock the door. I remember being so scared and crying. Was this a real memory? Were there real elements to it? This memory was a real memory, however, this memory was exaggerated due to my age (brain development) and stress levels.
Memories are easier to manipulate than you might think. Elizabeth Loftus ran an experiment where she was able to convince 25% of her clients that they had gotten lost in a mall as a child. After repeated sessions and continually bringing it up, the clients related to the story and recalled a similar experience from their childhood. The temporal lobe that stores memories is so malleable that overtime, people who were blamed for a crime they didn’t do were convinced they did it.
It’s near impossible to sort through and figure out which memories are true and which memories are false. However, there are a few ways to help insure your memories are your own.
First off, when you replay a memory such as the one when I was on the boat; look for witnesses. I asked my mom, dad, and grandma since they were the only witnesses that I still have contact with. My dad explained how my mom vomited due to motion sickness but that he was standing next to me and holding me most of the time. My mom said the same thing and even explained that the boat wasn’t red by showing me a picture. Having different accounts of the same memory will help sift out the falsities of that memory.
Secondly, using common sense will make sure that certain memories happened. For some reason I remember when my brother was born. I remember looking down at him in a crib at the hospital. The problem is that the hospital didn’t have a crib such as the one I remember, and my brother would have been a newborn and I picture a six month old baby. I also wouldn’t have been old enough to make concrete memories because I would have only been two. Therefore, the memory is not possible because the context doesn’t add up.
Lastly, ask yourself the who, what, when, where, why, and how; and whether or not that’s out of character for you. Relating back to the memory of me in the car, that seems out of character for my mom to strap me in and then be forgetful. It also seems out of character for me to be brave enough to get my seatbelt off and venture to the front of the car. Therefore, the memory might be true to an extent, but some basic character build is missing and therefore it’s a partial memory (partly true).
When recalling memories and laughing about them with friends, remember to check for witnesses, use common sense and evaluate the personality and character of those in the memory. False memories are common and easily malleable. False or true, memories shape you. Make sure what you remember is what actually happened so that you are shaped by your memories and your memories aren’t shaping you.
Works Cited:
Kendra Cherry. “False Memories and How They Form.” Verywell Mind. February 28, 2020. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-do-false-memories-form-2795349
Anonymous. “People Can Be Convinced They Committed a Crime That Never Happened.” Association for Psychological Science. January 15, 2015. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/people-can-be-convinced-they-committed-a-crime-they-dont-remember.html
EMILY DICKINSON 