Wait until you’re ready. You don’t owe anyone an explanation and you shouldn’t feel bad for needing time to process what you’re going through. You need to learn how to put yourself first sometimes, even if you feel guilty for doing so.
This is the lesson I’ve been learning lately. Maybe some of you can relate. Sometimes emotions or a life build up just hits us straight-on and we feel like we’re slipping under the waves of life. You’re finally pushed to the point of straight exhaustion. You’ve been trying to keep your life together and suddenly there’s a breach and everything you’ve so carefully stacked up begins to slide away. You’re conflicted inside with all of the possible life choices to make. And suddenly, you don’t know what to do with the flood of emotions overtaking your mind.
If you’re anything like me, you hold onto experiences and emotions until you can’t hold onto them anymore. Suddenly the floodgates open and it’s like a hurricane swept through. But that’s not healthy. It’s really hard for me to feel things in the moment, to process what I’m going through. Everyone processes things differently, but you need to allow yourself space to feel. You need to set aside time to feel things so that you don’t have constant build ups of emotion.
Something I do for my mental health is daily check-ins and weekly check-ins. I check in with one friend every single day and we go over our highs and lows from the day and ask each other how we are doing. We don’t just text each other that we’re doing “fine.” We actually go over our day and are open and honest with one another. That way I can process what happened and how I’m feeling and then I can practice listening and being empathetic when she shares her day with me.
With my other friend, we meet up once a week and we talk about what’s on our heart. We help each other when we are working through complex emotions and we reflect on what we can be learning throughout this season of life.
Both of these check-in’s are important to me in order to make sure I’m growing personally and to make sure I can keep my friends on track. It also helps to have friends that know you this intimately. It can be scary to open up to someone, but having someone who truly knows you is an absolutely amazing thing.
I encourage you to find a way to set aside time to feel. You owe it to yourself. Find someone you can talk to about what you’re feeling. That person can be a friend, spouse, mentor, parent, or therapist. Just allow yourself time to feel your emotions and invite someone else into it. You don’t have to have your life or mind together to invite someone in. Invite people into the messy and learn to grow beside others.
EMILY DICKINSON 