Struggles are a part of life. Trials and tribulations will come. Although we don’t have control of what happens to us, we can take back control over what we do with the trials that come our way. Are we going to self pity? Are we going to blame ourselves or others? Are we going to make the trial the black hole of our lives? Or are we going to learn from it and face the future with an understanding of our trials and with a passion to continue fighting despite the struggles that will come?
Here’s the key phrase for me: It didn’t happen to me, it happened for me.
What happens when we stop victimizing ourselves and start searching for the purpose in the trials? An entire mindset shift happens and it changes the way you view yourself and your story.
In my mind I replace the “to” with “for”. The trials I’ve been faced with didn’t happen to me, they happened for me because God has a plan. If God didn’t have a plan, then yes, that trial happened to you and you are the victim of the event. But because I strongly believe that God has a plan for my pain, I believe that God allows certain circumstances and trials to happen for me to allow me to grow. God is writing your story. He is pushing you because it’s in the uncomfortable that we grow. Struggles are a part of life because they build character. So why did this trial happen for you? What is the purpose of going through this?
I’ve not only found it powerful to change my wording in my head, but I also let other people know. When I’m talking to someone about this trial in my life, a common response is “I’m so sorry that’s happened to you.” The second a person says that, I correct them and explain that I believe it didn’t happen to me, it happened for me. It’s important for me to vocalize this because I don’t want my trials to be talked about in a negative light. Rather, I would like to open up and explain how I’m learning from the trial. Addressing this not only changes the mood of the conversation, but it allows others to have a change in perspective. It also empowers me. I own my trials because God wrote this story for me. I own the harships and the tears because God knew I could handle it. I feel empowered in my story when I stop victimizing myself and instead recognize the ways in which I’ve grown in my character.
In what areas of your life do you need to change your wording? (It didn’t happen to me, it happened for me.) Why do you think this trial happened for you? What character growth or change in your life did this event cause?
EMILY DICKINSON 