Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
This verse has been the verse I cling to in the darkest valleys, on the brightest mountain tops, and everywhere in-between. I have claimed this verse as my truth since my trip to Poland last year. This year has been a walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I have experienced so many ups and downs and polar opposites. But even when I was at my lowest, experiencing the shadow of death, I felt God’s presence overpower death. God has shown me this verse in so many ways this past year. Through the song “Silence” by JWLKRS, through the verse of the day, through devotionals and small groups and church services; but the place it came through the most was when I was laying in an ambulance in a foreign country fighting for my life.
I experienced a huge seizure in Paris, France. From the moment it began, my head felt like it had been hit by a bolt of lighting and my body went paralyzed, numb, and tingly. I told my friends to call 911 (112) and focused on staying calm and conscious. I prayed and begged God for my life. My head lulled back as I was staring at the glittering view of the Eiffel Tower. My speech slurred and I felt like I was suffocating. My eyes rolled back in my head, my heart rate dropped from over 200 down to 40 in a matter of seconds and the next thing I knew I was being dragged onto a gurney and brought into an ambulance.
In the time between sitting in a chair at the restaurant and being placed in an ambulance, although witnesses claim I was aware, I was outside of my body in a dark room, sitting before Jesus’ feet. I was on my knees begging for my life. I clung to Psalm 23:4 because I knew I was in the valley but that God had me. As I begged God to let me live, I felt this release as if God had said “okay” and I was back in my body with rising vitals. I immediately wanted to panic and cry out in relief, but was told that I needed to remain calm as my heart rate was still dangerously high.
When I tell you all I felt was praise. I felt comforted and protected because I was not alone.
It was immensely hard being in a foreign country and having a crazy medical emergency AND having a language barrier so the paramedics and I couldn’t understand each other. But God had me.
When I went back to the hotel room to sleep and my heart rate was still high, God kept me safe in my sleep. The fear I felt was unimaginable and getting home after such an intense experience was quite an ordeal. I had intense brain fog and couldn’t think clearly whatsoever, and I had more “aftershock” seizures the next two weeks.
I had been shown this verse so many times because God knew I would need to remember it when I entered the valley. Every journal entry I look back upon in the last year has some mention of it. Some of my main takeaways from this verse are as follows:
1. “Even though I walk…” The journey is gradual. We aren’t running. We are walking through a dark valley because it’s a trek.
2. “I will fear no evil, for You are with me…” My prior life verse was Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” “I will fear no evil, for You are with me” and “Fear not, for I am with you” sound very similar. I went from a place of needing to hear God tell me to not be afraid to declaring it over my life claiming “I will fear no evil!” This is one of the coolest revelations I have made. The way my faith has grown as I’ve grown and how God interweaved this message into my life without realizing it is a testament to how much God truly cares.
3. “Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” A rod and staff are shepherding materials and they are a reminder that God is in control. God is controlling his flock (us) and that should bring us comfort as He won’t let us face the evil of this world alone.
What does Psalm 23:4 mean to you? How can you find comfort in the midst of the valley?
EMILY DICKINSON 